I heard this guy preach at Wayne Pres last week. He's the president of an organization called the International Justice Mission. They do amazing work around the world freeing children from prostitution rings, bringing corrupt police to court, and numerous other acts of justice on the behalf of the poor and oppressed. His sermon was amazing; I hope you are as moved as I was.
you can get the sermon here
Monday, May 15, 2006
Sunday, May 07, 2006
May Prayer and Ministry Update Letter
Friends, Family, and Partners in the Gospel of Christ,
Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
I write to you with much joy over what God is doing in my life; it is hard to imagine that a year ago I was in
When I last wrote to you I was beginning school at Westminster Theological Seminary (WTS). Well, the year is almost over, and God has confirmed in so many ways that WTS is where he wants me. It is a very academic seminary, so at times it has been difficult to remember that I am learning about GOD who is definitely NOT an academic exercise. But through great friends, like my roommate Aaron, and the lessons I learned in
Apart from seminary, I have been blessed by being involved at my church. From praying with some amazing people on the Vine Prayer Team to having the great privilege of co-leading a Sunday school time for 18-25 year olds, I have been challenged to put into practice those things that I am learning in my classes. God has also been very gracious to me by giving me a part-time engineering job which helps immensely in keeping the loans down. All around it seems God has been showering me with blessings.
On a sadder note, my Grandfather was diagnosed with cancer this spring. It has spread throughout his body, and there is not much the doctors can do. But even this sadness comes with great joy, for over Easter weekend, my Grandpa gave his life to Christ! What the cancer intended for evil and death, God intended for life everlasting! Easter was a very special day of celebration for my family, the resurrection of Christ and the new-life of my Grandpa. Praise God! Please keep him in your prayers, that God would ease his pain and be close to him in these last months. The picture at the left is our family easter service by the lake shore in Tennessee, with my grandfather being second from the left.
That is a bit of where I am at in my journey as God leads me to His mission field. There has been no clear direction as to where in the world He wants me to go, but I have felt a pull toward working with Muslims. Please pray that over the net few years God would give me his direction in His time. Also, pray about where God would have me involved in His ministry here while I am at seminary. Some possibilities have begun to emerge, so pray that God would open and close doors as He so desires.
Another reason I am writing is to invite you to partner with me on two opportunities God has provided this summer. First, for two weeks in June I will be returning to
The second opportunity is to lead a team of people during the first week of July to 
nd he needs us to be his arms to hold them and hands to bless them.
Would you partner with me in these two opportunities? I beg for your prayers. God has continually impressed upon me the need for prayer. When we humbly recognize His power, He is so pleased to release it upon us so that only He receives the glory.
In Him,
Monday, August 29, 2005
Thank you
Dear Friends, Family, and Partners in the Gospel of Jesus Christ,
Grace and peace to you.
As many of you know, I returned safely to United States a little over a week ago on Wednesday the 17th. Thank you all very much for your prayers as I traveled home. While my flights were all smooth and mostly on time, I did have a small problem at the Port-au-Prince airport which could have turned into a big problem if not for your prayers and the help of God (it seems I stayed quite a bit longer in Haiti than you are allowed on a tourist visa). In the end everything turned out fine, and I arrived in Philadelphia safe and sound. A special thank you to those who helped to coordinate my parents’ surprising me at the airport.
To the glory of God and to the credit of your prayers, the time I spent in Haiti was wonderfully successful both in terms of our ministry and in my own personal life. Here are just a few of the praises from my six months there:
-no illnesses, upset stomachs, or injuries
-I was able to learn Creole and communicate effectively with the Haitians I worked with
-over 40 miles of drinking water pipes where surveyed
-a sand-storage dam and an inverted siphon were designed and plans drawn
-safety and relative stability of the country
-hosted and assisted over 10 different American work teams who helped to build roofs, install gutters, assemble benches, and among many other things
-helped to train Neemy, a Haitian engineer, in surveying
-showed the Jesus Film at five different churches to a total of over 1000 people
-I learned more about God as my best friend and comforter
If you want to read more about what went on with my mission while in Haiti, go to www.callmehaiti.blogspot.com. Thank you to all those who prayed, gave financial support, sent encouraging letters and emails, and helped me to prepare for my transition home.
I would continue to covet your prayers as I begin seminary this fall at Westminster Theological Seminary. I will be in Philadelphia for at least three more years to get training in the Bible, church planting, and to seek what God has next for me to do. Please pray for diligence in my studies, that I could find a good part-time job (preferably in engineering), that I would trust God to provide for me financially, and that I could clearly discern what the next call is that God has for me. I would love to talk more with any of you about what God did in Haiti in my 6 months there or anything else, so please do not hesitate to contact me via email, telephone, or snail mail.
“for ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?” Romans 10:14-15
Thank you for sending me. It truly was a blessing.
Yours in Christ,
Ben Gustafson
Good-bye!
Grace and peace to you.
As many of you know, I returned safely to United States a little over a week ago on Wednesday the 17th. Thank you all very much for your prayers as I traveled home. While my flights were all smooth and mostly on time, I did have a small problem at the Port-au-Prince airport which could have turned into a big problem if not for your prayers and the help of God (it seems I stayed quite a bit longer in Haiti than you are allowed on a tourist visa). In the end everything turned out fine, and I arrived in Philadelphia safe and sound. A special thank you to those who helped to coordinate my parents’ surprising me at the airport.
To the glory of God and to the credit of your prayers, the time I spent in Haiti was wonderfully successful both in terms of our ministry and in my own personal life. Here are just a few of the praises from my six months there:
-no illnesses, upset stomachs, or injuries
-I was able to learn Creole and communicate effectively with the Haitians I worked with
-over 40 miles of drinking water pipes where surveyed
-a sand-storage dam and an inverted siphon were designed and plans drawn
-safety and relative stability of the country
-hosted and assisted over 10 different American work teams who helped to build roofs, install gutters, assemble benches, and among many other things
-helped to train Neemy, a Haitian engineer, in surveying
-showed the Jesus Film at five different churches to a total of over 1000 people
-I learned more about God as my best friend and comforter
If you want to read more about what went on with my mission while in Haiti, go to www.callmehaiti.blogspot.com. Thank you to all those who prayed, gave financial support, sent encouraging letters and emails, and helped me to prepare for my transition home.
I would continue to covet your prayers as I begin seminary this fall at Westminster Theological Seminary. I will be in Philadelphia for at least three more years to get training in the Bible, church planting, and to seek what God has next for me to do. Please pray for diligence in my studies, that I could find a good part-time job (preferably in engineering), that I would trust God to provide for me financially, and that I could clearly discern what the next call is that God has for me. I would love to talk more with any of you about what God did in Haiti in my 6 months there or anything else, so please do not hesitate to contact me via email, telephone, or snail mail.
“for ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’ How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can they preach unless they are sent?” Romans 10:14-15
Thank you for sending me. It truly was a blessing.
Yours in Christ,
Ben Gustafson
Good-bye!
My Last Few Days
My time in Haiti was coming to a close, so I made a couple visits to see some friends before I left. unfortunately I'm not very good at taking pictures, so i don't have any of some of the guys I was close with (like my survey crew, duh!). here some pictures I did take though.
Gaston, John Walter, and Maize who was one of the main guys on my survey crew (on the left)
Pastor Bernicks and Me (never mind that I look like a psycho)
Engineer Neemy and myself. Neemy came back from finishing his school projects a week before I left.
Boss Aletude, a good friend
The Abdias Family that I lived with for a couple weeks
Gaston, John Walter, and Maize who was one of the main guys on my survey crew (on the left)
Pastor Bernicks and Me (never mind that I look like a psycho)
Engineer Neemy and myself. Neemy came back from finishing his school projects a week before I left.
Boss Aletude, a good friend
The Abdias Family that I lived with for a couple weeks
Creepy Crawlers
Just had to share some of this excitement with you: a montage of the bugs, spiders, and other things of Haiti
careful where you walk while surveying
this guy lived in my kitchen, but I didn't kill him because he ate the cockroaches (of which i have no pictures unfortunately). the really creepy thing about them is that they jump, pretty far too.
another banana spider which was spared because he eats the roaches. you had to shake out your shoes and pants in the morning though in case they decided to take a nap there overnight
this tarantula i found coming out of the shower. I definitely killed him.
While I was depodding these beans, I had the wonderful experience of finding worms in about half of them. The added bonus was squishing the worms to make them pop. you may have to look really hard to see them.
my buddy, the zondolite, who lived in my kitchen for a while until he got caught in a rat trap. they are very good at eating the bugs on your screens at night. it's fun to watch (remember i had no TV).
mr. zondolite again
not really a creepy crawler, but it sure is a funny picture of a donkey :)
careful where you walk while surveying
this guy lived in my kitchen, but I didn't kill him because he ate the cockroaches (of which i have no pictures unfortunately). the really creepy thing about them is that they jump, pretty far too.
another banana spider which was spared because he eats the roaches. you had to shake out your shoes and pants in the morning though in case they decided to take a nap there overnight
this tarantula i found coming out of the shower. I definitely killed him.
While I was depodding these beans, I had the wonderful experience of finding worms in about half of them. The added bonus was squishing the worms to make them pop. you may have to look really hard to see them.
my buddy, the zondolite, who lived in my kitchen for a while until he got caught in a rat trap. they are very good at eating the bugs on your screens at night. it's fun to watch (remember i had no TV).
mr. zondolite again
not really a creepy crawler, but it sure is a funny picture of a donkey :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
The Mad Surveying American
My last month and a half in Haiti was spent hiking through the Haitian country-side surveying over 40 miles of water pipes. It was tough work in the extreme heat, climbing mountains, working long days, and often running out of water. The Haitian guys that worked with me were amazing. They worked without complaining, put up with my impatience, and learned how to understand my broken creole. Sometimes we would leave the shop yard at 7 am, hike some 10 miles, and then return home around 8 at night. It was a very difficult and physically exhausting time and is why I was not very diligent at keeping this blog updated. I was just plain tired!
In the midst of this difficulty, God was very active. He kept us safe and free from sickness (although I did get stung by a scorpion one day, but i got better). The strength that he gave the team of guys I worked with and especially the strength he gave to this white-skinned weakling was amazing. Every day I found encouragement and comfort in the verse "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." It was awesome to reflect on how in-control God was of every circumstance and the ability he gave us to climb the mountains we needed to climb. we also had tons of fun and lots of laughs. Good stories to ask me about: Maiz and cold water, the burning coocnuts, and the slow walkin' Isonell.
Now you may ask "why were they surveying all this pipe?" Well, with the information we collected, we hope to put together a plan of the whole water system. This would allow us to analyze how we can make the system better, how we can bring water to new areas, and what parts of the system have critical issues that need to be fixed. Also, the committees in charge of the system need a records of their system in case something breaks 30 years from now and
everybody who helped installed the system is gone. We have collected all the information to put together the plans, but we are still waiting for the necessary AutoCAD software to finish the work. Please pray that God would supply this very expensive software.
Using the survey "gun" with Fre Leotess in the background.
An unauthorized photo of the crazy surveyor.
Engineer Neemy on the survey gun
In the midst of this difficulty, God was very active. He kept us safe and free from sickness (although I did get stung by a scorpion one day, but i got better). The strength that he gave the team of guys I worked with and especially the strength he gave to this white-skinned weakling was amazing. Every day I found encouragement and comfort in the verse "The Sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer, he enables me to go on the heights." It was awesome to reflect on how in-control God was of every circumstance and the ability he gave us to climb the mountains we needed to climb. we also had tons of fun and lots of laughs. Good stories to ask me about: Maiz and cold water, the burning coocnuts, and the slow walkin' Isonell.
Now you may ask "why were they surveying all this pipe?" Well, with the information we collected, we hope to put together a plan of the whole water system. This would allow us to analyze how we can make the system better, how we can bring water to new areas, and what parts of the system have critical issues that need to be fixed. Also, the committees in charge of the system need a records of their system in case something breaks 30 years from now and
everybody who helped installed the system is gone. We have collected all the information to put together the plans, but we are still waiting for the necessary AutoCAD software to finish the work. Please pray that God would supply this very expensive software.
Using the survey "gun" with Fre Leotess in the background.
An unauthorized photo of the crazy surveyor.
Engineer Neemy on the survey gun
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
The Travelling Picture Show
Over the past few years, Bruce (the missionary that I'm working with) has had a vision to be able to show the Jesus Film at the churches and at evangelism events in the area that we work. It has taken a while to get all the pieces together, but this summer everything finally came together. A projector, a dvd/vcr, an amplifier, a large speaker, a microphone, and a whole mess of cords were put into a medium size box and tied down to the back of a four-wheeler. I went to about 5 or 6 different places to show the film, each with its own challenges and successes. On the whole, the Haitians were in awe at seeing the stories of the Bible on "the big screen" in their own language. It was quite a blessing to watch them recognize stories of Jesus healing people, to see them mouthing the words that Jesus was speaking which they had memorized, and to see them all gasp when a big snake comes on the screen to tempt Jesus. Two of the times I showed the film stick out in my mind.
The church at Cabaret was having a week long conference and evangelism/outreach event. I happenned to be staying in the town at the same time to some surveying of the water system there, so one of the nights we decided to show the Jesus Film. There was a short-term team from Florida staying at the church to help with the week's festivities, so they spread the word about a free movie about Jesus being shown. The night came, and we set up all the equipment and the sheet on which we project the movie. Not too many people had come when we started the film, probably between 100-150 people (which is not much for the size of town we were in). After about 15 minutes, I took a walk outside to make sure the generator was running fine and to say a prayer that God would bring the people He wanted to speak to. I came back to the church and the place was packed. Probably about 500 people were packed into this church, not an empty seat to be found. And people were still coming!! By the end , we had throngs of people huddle around doorways, peering in through windows, and just sitting outside where they could listen to the dialogue. Over 700 people came!! it was a huge success and all to the glory of God.
Another night, we had decided to show the film at the church I had been attending in Moulin. I loaded the equipment onto the back of the four-wheeler and the pastor showed up on his mototaxi (like my hog), and we started off toward the church. Off in the distance the sky looked ominous and rained seemed imminent, but in Haiti, it can rain in one valley and in another valley just a few hundred feet away, not a drop could be falling. So we pushed on praying that God would hold off the rain for our arrival at the church and for the showing of the film About halfway to Moulin, the rain came down like a flood. With about 20 minutes left to go, we drove through the hard driving rain barely able to see 20 feet in front of us. The mud was getting pretty bad, and the pastor was barely able to drive on in his moto. About a half mile from the church it looked like we were going to be able to make it, when suddenly my four-wheeler just died. It would not start, and we had to resolve to push it (with all the equipment on the back) the rest of the way through the mud and the rain, over hills and through calf deep pot holes. By the grace of God we arrived, and it appeared that the equipment had not been damaged. After some poking around, we thought maybe it needed some more gas although it appeared to have some left. Since it was still raining hard and we did not think we were going to be able to show the film anymore, we decided to empty the generator of its gas and put it into the four-wheeler. After this ordeal, the four-wheeler still did not start. So I was stuck there with no way to get home. And then the rain stopped. We asked one of the guys with us if people were still going to come to the movie, and he said he thought they would. Just then some people started to show up! So we decided to show the film anyways. But now we had no gas to run the generator to make electricity for all the equipment because we put it all into the four-wheeler!!! So we found a little jug and told a kid to run as fast as he could to the nearest big town (about 45 minutes away) through the ankle deep mud to get a gallon of gas. Off he went, and we began to pray that this would all still work out. We set up all the equipment and were waiting for the gas, when it began to rain again. We cried out "God, do you not want this film to show tonight? We will be faithful in doing all we can and leave the results up to do." Despite the rain (which Haitians loathe to be out in, they never venture out in the rain), about 70 people came and packed out this little church, and the gas came not to long after as well. God completely brought it all together. It's amazing when you get to the end of your rope and abilities and just have to let God work everything out.
The church at Cabaret was having a week long conference and evangelism/outreach event. I happenned to be staying in the town at the same time to some surveying of the water system there, so one of the nights we decided to show the Jesus Film. There was a short-term team from Florida staying at the church to help with the week's festivities, so they spread the word about a free movie about Jesus being shown. The night came, and we set up all the equipment and the sheet on which we project the movie. Not too many people had come when we started the film, probably between 100-150 people (which is not much for the size of town we were in). After about 15 minutes, I took a walk outside to make sure the generator was running fine and to say a prayer that God would bring the people He wanted to speak to. I came back to the church and the place was packed. Probably about 500 people were packed into this church, not an empty seat to be found. And people were still coming!! By the end , we had throngs of people huddle around doorways, peering in through windows, and just sitting outside where they could listen to the dialogue. Over 700 people came!! it was a huge success and all to the glory of God.
Another night, we had decided to show the film at the church I had been attending in Moulin. I loaded the equipment onto the back of the four-wheeler and the pastor showed up on his mototaxi (like my hog), and we started off toward the church. Off in the distance the sky looked ominous and rained seemed imminent, but in Haiti, it can rain in one valley and in another valley just a few hundred feet away, not a drop could be falling. So we pushed on praying that God would hold off the rain for our arrival at the church and for the showing of the film About halfway to Moulin, the rain came down like a flood. With about 20 minutes left to go, we drove through the hard driving rain barely able to see 20 feet in front of us. The mud was getting pretty bad, and the pastor was barely able to drive on in his moto. About a half mile from the church it looked like we were going to be able to make it, when suddenly my four-wheeler just died. It would not start, and we had to resolve to push it (with all the equipment on the back) the rest of the way through the mud and the rain, over hills and through calf deep pot holes. By the grace of God we arrived, and it appeared that the equipment had not been damaged. After some poking around, we thought maybe it needed some more gas although it appeared to have some left. Since it was still raining hard and we did not think we were going to be able to show the film anymore, we decided to empty the generator of its gas and put it into the four-wheeler. After this ordeal, the four-wheeler still did not start. So I was stuck there with no way to get home. And then the rain stopped. We asked one of the guys with us if people were still going to come to the movie, and he said he thought they would. Just then some people started to show up! So we decided to show the film anyways. But now we had no gas to run the generator to make electricity for all the equipment because we put it all into the four-wheeler!!! So we found a little jug and told a kid to run as fast as he could to the nearest big town (about 45 minutes away) through the ankle deep mud to get a gallon of gas. Off he went, and we began to pray that this would all still work out. We set up all the equipment and were waiting for the gas, when it began to rain again. We cried out "God, do you not want this film to show tonight? We will be faithful in doing all we can and leave the results up to do." Despite the rain (which Haitians loathe to be out in, they never venture out in the rain), about 70 people came and packed out this little church, and the gas came not to long after as well. God completely brought it all together. It's amazing when you get to the end of your rope and abilities and just have to let God work everything out.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Words from my Mama
I love my mama. I hope she doesn't mind my posting this email from her here. She's da' bomb.
>>>>>from my mom, sent 6/17/05<<<<<
I think grace is easier to understand once you become a parent. You know in Romans 8:38-39 where it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God? Nothing my children can do will ever make me stop loving them. There is this strange thing that happens - even before birth- where you instantly love this child inside you. And once it is born, you fall deeply, completely in love with that child. It is truly a gift that God gives to parents and children. In all my years of working OB, it is the most wonderful phenomena to witness.
Now this child will love you one minute, and then say they hate you the next. They will be overtly disobedient, they will say things you wouldn't think possible, and they will even sometimes deliberately hurt you. You will get angry at them and you will be disappointed in them, but you never never stop loving them. They could not ever do something so bad that you quit loving them. There is this unbreakable bond called love that is so strong that nothing...I mean nothing... will ever even dent that bond. In fact they can be the best child in the world and you can't love them more for that either. The love is there in goodness and "badness" and it never changes. I think that is why Jesus' message of love is so powerful and prominent in his ministry. You can do things out of obedience and morality and even Christian ethics, but it will never be as strongly motivating as sincere love. Love really does conquer all. I think you could toss most everything in the Bible out if you only remember one thing "the greatest of these is love". Now if I love my children this much, how much more must God love them and me?? Many nights I sat by the window waiting for you and/or Jill to come home repeating this mantra "God loves them even more that I do. God loves them even more than I do." I can't imagine anyone loving you more than me - so God's love must be unfathomable. God's love is grace - it is a HUGE step above our love.
Even after that explanation there is still this lingering doubt...we all have it. But that is where faith sets in. You decide to believe what you can't understand. It is a difficult concept, but amazingly freeing when you do it.
I know this is still lacking in clarity. I love you for even asking.....
Mom
>>>>>from my mom, sent 6/17/05<<<<<
I think grace is easier to understand once you become a parent. You know in Romans 8:38-39 where it says that nothing can separate us from the love of God? Nothing my children can do will ever make me stop loving them. There is this strange thing that happens - even before birth- where you instantly love this child inside you. And once it is born, you fall deeply, completely in love with that child. It is truly a gift that God gives to parents and children. In all my years of working OB, it is the most wonderful phenomena to witness.
Now this child will love you one minute, and then say they hate you the next. They will be overtly disobedient, they will say things you wouldn't think possible, and they will even sometimes deliberately hurt you. You will get angry at them and you will be disappointed in them, but you never never stop loving them. They could not ever do something so bad that you quit loving them. There is this unbreakable bond called love that is so strong that nothing...I mean nothing... will ever even dent that bond. In fact they can be the best child in the world and you can't love them more for that either. The love is there in goodness and "badness" and it never changes. I think that is why Jesus' message of love is so powerful and prominent in his ministry. You can do things out of obedience and morality and even Christian ethics, but it will never be as strongly motivating as sincere love. Love really does conquer all. I think you could toss most everything in the Bible out if you only remember one thing "the greatest of these is love". Now if I love my children this much, how much more must God love them and me?? Many nights I sat by the window waiting for you and/or Jill to come home repeating this mantra "God loves them even more that I do. God loves them even more than I do." I can't imagine anyone loving you more than me - so God's love must be unfathomable. God's love is grace - it is a HUGE step above our love.
Even after that explanation there is still this lingering doubt...we all have it. But that is where faith sets in. You decide to believe what you can't understand. It is a difficult concept, but amazingly freeing when you do it.
I know this is still lacking in clarity. I love you for even asking.....
Mom
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
How much I don't know
In an effort to open up to people, explain what is going on inside my head instead of just listing the events happening in my life, I had written this big long essay about the struggle I was having over entertainment choices (ie music and movies that may not be edifying) and was going to post in on this blog. It started out pretty honest, but about half way through I really started liking what I wrote and thought I sounded pretty spiritual and all that. My intent pretty much changed from telling you all how I feel and what I’m struggling with to telling you all how smart and spiritual I am. I have a tendency to do that, so if I do the same here, I apologize in advance.
I have been amazed lately at how little I understand, especially about God. I have a very overactive conscious, and tend to act out of guilt and try to earn God’s love. For example, last night I was feeling especially guilty about all the music I had on my computer that I "stole." Most of it I had downloaded during the days of Napster or had copied from the CD collections of friends and family. I started thinking about how it was really stealing and how I need to be faithful in the small things as well as the big things. I literally stayed up for hours, laying in my bed pondering over whether I should erase all this music in an effort to “cleanse” myself. I fell asleep with a knot in my stomach. When I woke up this morning (around 5 am), I had some lingering pangs of guilt, so I tried to get over that by reading the book of Matthew in the Bible. That didn’t help much, so after about 10 minutes of not really reading, I just laid in my bed and felt guilty. Finally I got up and got my computer, the whole time saying to myself, “Am I really going to do this?, this is ridiculous.” I took my laptop into my bed and have just spent the last 2 hours erasing every piece of music off my computer and iPod that I did not buy or was not given to me (I justify having copied music that was given to me because it was a gift, and how can I throw away something someone has given to me?). The whole time I was doing this I was praying that it would be out of obedience to God and not out of guilt. But it was completely out of guilt.
When I finished, I expected this wave of relief to come over me, that I would reach a higher plain and understand God at a whole new level. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I still felt/feel guilty. Now I feel guilty about having music that other people copied and gave to me. How ridiculous is this.
I know in my head that God loves me no matter what. His love for me will never change because of anything I do, good or bad. But in my heart I think that is a load of crap. I think that if I don’t erase all my music, God is going to hide His face from me and withhold His love from me. So I feign obedience to “get a cookie.”
If someone could explain grace to me, I would really appreciate it, because there is something that I am missing.
Sincerely,
Your very spiritual, very righteous, and oh-so ever foolish missionary
I have been amazed lately at how little I understand, especially about God. I have a very overactive conscious, and tend to act out of guilt and try to earn God’s love. For example, last night I was feeling especially guilty about all the music I had on my computer that I "stole." Most of it I had downloaded during the days of Napster or had copied from the CD collections of friends and family. I started thinking about how it was really stealing and how I need to be faithful in the small things as well as the big things. I literally stayed up for hours, laying in my bed pondering over whether I should erase all this music in an effort to “cleanse” myself. I fell asleep with a knot in my stomach. When I woke up this morning (around 5 am), I had some lingering pangs of guilt, so I tried to get over that by reading the book of Matthew in the Bible. That didn’t help much, so after about 10 minutes of not really reading, I just laid in my bed and felt guilty. Finally I got up and got my computer, the whole time saying to myself, “Am I really going to do this?, this is ridiculous.” I took my laptop into my bed and have just spent the last 2 hours erasing every piece of music off my computer and iPod that I did not buy or was not given to me (I justify having copied music that was given to me because it was a gift, and how can I throw away something someone has given to me?). The whole time I was doing this I was praying that it would be out of obedience to God and not out of guilt. But it was completely out of guilt.
When I finished, I expected this wave of relief to come over me, that I would reach a higher plain and understand God at a whole new level. Yeah, that didn’t happen. I still felt/feel guilty. Now I feel guilty about having music that other people copied and gave to me. How ridiculous is this.
I know in my head that God loves me no matter what. His love for me will never change because of anything I do, good or bad. But in my heart I think that is a load of crap. I think that if I don’t erase all my music, God is going to hide His face from me and withhold His love from me. So I feign obedience to “get a cookie.”
If someone could explain grace to me, I would really appreciate it, because there is something that I am missing.
Sincerely,
Your very spiritual, very righteous, and oh-so ever foolish missionary
Monday, June 06, 2005
The Blue Crew
After returning from surveying in Cabaret, a team from Virginia came in for a 10 day stay. The three teenagers are Jeff’s children and Bill is a chemical engineering grad student at UVA.
The team before they left the states. From left to right, Bill, Jeff, Deborah, Marie, and
These guys worked their butts off and built 12 school benches! The typical Haitian bench is built out of a half a piece of wood and two nails and when ten kids cram on one bench it is nothing more than a safety hazard. So nice sturdy school benches like these last a long time and really help the kids concentrate and learn more in school. It is our prayer that every child that sits in one of these benches would come to know Christ as their Saviour.
Building the benches
Painting the benches
The finished product hot off the factory floor and ready for delivery
One day, we took a break from building benches to help pour a concrete floor at the church in La Brusse.
The old church, now used as a school building
The new church
The concrete is mixed by hand outside the building.
Then it is passed along in buckets to be placed in the floor. As a side note, check out my stylish red hat.
Nearly Completed
The partially completed floor and two delivered benches on Sunday at La Brusse.
Our reward for a hard weeks work, a day at the beach!!
The great picture of the town near where we go to the beach, Be De Mustique, which is where Columbus landed in 1492.
Here’s a couple pictures of yours truly in action:
"come on, Ben, you can make it" I think I can, I think I can
David and I gearing up to go to church at Moulin. Some may consider it courage while others utter stupidity, but David rode with me on the hog to go visit a small church on sunday while the rest of his family went safely in the truck to church at Poste Metier.
The glasses are authentic Elvis sunglasses sent from Graceland, compliments of Julie and Jamie. Yes, I wear them all the time.
The team before they left the states. From left to right, Bill, Jeff, Deborah, Marie, and
These guys worked their butts off and built 12 school benches! The typical Haitian bench is built out of a half a piece of wood and two nails and when ten kids cram on one bench it is nothing more than a safety hazard. So nice sturdy school benches like these last a long time and really help the kids concentrate and learn more in school. It is our prayer that every child that sits in one of these benches would come to know Christ as their Saviour.
Building the benches
Painting the benches
The finished product hot off the factory floor and ready for delivery
One day, we took a break from building benches to help pour a concrete floor at the church in La Brusse.
The old church, now used as a school building
The new church
The concrete is mixed by hand outside the building.
Then it is passed along in buckets to be placed in the floor. As a side note, check out my stylish red hat.
Nearly Completed
The partially completed floor and two delivered benches on Sunday at La Brusse.
Our reward for a hard weeks work, a day at the beach!!
The great picture of the town near where we go to the beach, Be De Mustique, which is where Columbus landed in 1492.
Here’s a couple pictures of yours truly in action:
"come on, Ben, you can make it" I think I can, I think I can
David and I gearing up to go to church at Moulin. Some may consider it courage while others utter stupidity, but David rode with me on the hog to go visit a small church on sunday while the rest of his family went safely in the truck to church at Poste Metier.
The glasses are authentic Elvis sunglasses sent from Graceland, compliments of Julie and Jamie. Yes, I wear them all the time.
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